Susan Schneider’s Blog

In Letterman Style

As I sit down to write my final blog of the calendar year, I find myself hoping that maybe, just maybe, I will pen the ultimate post of inspiration - a true masterpiece for life - and bring an ideal close to another year. One would think after five years I might realize this isn’t going to happen, and that a looming deadline will have me once again relying on the good ‘ol Letterman Top 10 to wrap up the year.  So, I grabbed a couple of loyal friends and came to a consensus on the themes we thought would be great to bring into 2012. And here they are:

10.  O.H.I.O. – Only Handle It Once – one of the best tips I’ve received and it has been a prominent theme in my life.  No sense putting off the little stuff, just get it done now!

9.    Lamenting the Door – Helen Keller said it best, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one, which has been opened for us.”

8.    If You Don’t Ask for It, Don’t Expect It and as a followup, Just Because You Ask for It, Don’t Expect It – the titles say it all – sometimes we need to get our “expectors” in line.

7.    Set Your Internal Egg Timer – if we don’t set time limits on processing difficult situations or ruminating on events of the past, we could spend a lot of time with no change in the outcome.  Personally, I think 30 minutes is best.

6.    Too Much Emphasis on the “I” – God will not give you more than you can handle, but often, it isn’t us that is given the strength. Sometimes that strength comes from those around us.  Don’t be afraid to accept their help.

5.    I Know, I Know, I Know – just because we know we ought to do something doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be held accountable.  Maybe it’s time to actually put our knowledge into action.

4.    Be a Blessing Everyday – it is easy to get caught up in our own needs, but making a conscious effort each day to bless someone else will always bring you favor in spades.

3.    The 21-Day R&R Challenge – sorry, not rest and relaxation. This is about intentionally removing resentments and regrets from your life. Easier said than done!

2.    Teach ‘em to Fish – it’s a lot better to invest the time up front to teach someone to stand on their own.  It is proven to remove the “why do I always have to do everything?” saying from your vocabulary.

1.    The “So What” Holiday – not just for Christmas anymore. This also works well for many events in our lives where we get so wrapped up in the details that we forget to have a good time.

As always, I want to wish all of you a Happy New Year and hope nothing but blessings, good fortune, and health to all my loyal readers.  Until next year…

Have a "So What" Holiday Season!

Do I mean “so what” to the reason for the season? No Way! Do I mean “so what” to being caught up in the silly little details that we think are so important, yet take us away from actually enjoying the season? Yes, indeed!

I am the first to admit I’m a bit of a holiday junkie. I love driving around the streets, gazing at the Christmas lights and even find myself a bit envious of the Griswold-ish neighbors that have the guts to turn their yard into a circus show. I sing holiday tunes at the top of my lungs from Thanksgiving to New Years and I believe that Christmas cookies are deserving of the fifth slot in the pyramid food group.

Yet, even with all of the joy during this time of year, I have to try to remember that the details don’t matter. All the really important things will be missed if I am too busy to enjoy them. Therefore, I am officially instituting the “so what” motto for the season:

• “So what” if the guests are running late – take that time to put your feet up
• “So what” if you don’t have string to tie up the turkey – that’s what kites are for
• “So what” if you couldn’t find the perfect gift – is there such a thing?
• "So what" if someone brings dessert instead of dinner rolls – most people like the sweets best anyway

And, if the food burns, the tree topples over, the flight is cancelled, the gravy is lumpy or you find yourself surrounded by Scrooge... just remember to say to yourself “so what”.

So, I wish you a "so what" holiday season! My greatest wish for everyone is a time of peace, of reflection on those who have so little and would give anything for our “so what” problems, and for a time to appreciate the things that matter most; our family, our friends and our freedom. God Bless!

Is the Ride Worth the Fare?

When I was young, I loved riding roller coasters. The anticipation of climbing the first hill, holding my arms high in the air and feeling my stomach in my throat as the car flew through the turns provided a thrill like no other. However, that was then and this is now. Today, every time I get on a roller coaster, I embarrassingly scream like a wounded animal and just pray that I won’t get sick on the person in front of me. For me, the ride is just not worth the fare.

When I think of roller coasters, I am reminded of the movie Parenthood. Steve Martin portrays a stressed out father who is fighting against the ups and downs in life. As anxiety heightens, images of roller coasters raging through the hills flash in his mind. This crazy ride is not thrilling for most adults, but leans more to the side of terrifying. The lesson learned by Steve in this movie is that just because the roller coaster is there doesn’t mean you are required to get on the ride.

This time of year, in particular, seems to provide an ample amount of roller coasters to ride. We frantically attempt to meet fiscal year deadlines, prepare annual budgets that seem impossible, or try to maneuver through a crowded mall with a screaming child. No matter the event, it is guaranteed there will be a proverbial theme park around every corner with signs at the entrance of the roller coaster that read “no waiting”. So, the question we face, just as Steve Martin did, “are you going to pay the fare to take the ride?"

I’ve learned to take a moment and ask myself this very question and it isn’t always easy, especially if others I am with have already gotten on the ride. This has taken some hard work, because for many years I went ahead and bought the season pass. I guess I didn’t know I really had an option. What freedom I feel now, not to mention less nauseam, knowing that it is just fine to choose the Ferris wheel over the roller coaster!

If I Had a Hammer

I am happy to say that my husband and I just survived a small home remodeling project that we decided to take on ourselves. While some may think that a minor HGTV-like project is no big deal, I take great pride the fact that, after eighteen years of marriage, we can spend a week in total chaos together and somehow make it through without killing each other.

From my perspective (not sure my husband would agree), I found the whole project a bit therapeutic. It was sort of like a couples retreat; but without the counselor, fancy food, and long walks by the lake. Instead, it was a living room crammed with dishes, pots and pans, late night dinners of pizza eaten while sitting on the floor and two inches of dust covering the entire house. It’s definitely not everyone’s idea of therapy. But hey, it works!

One thing I have to admit is that I am not what you might consider a handyperson. I am not patient enough to always find the right tools for a certain task and worse yet, I don’t even realize that these tools exist. If I have a hammer, a screwdriver and a paint brush, I will try my hardest to make it work and then when I have gotten myself in trouble, I scream for help and beg for forgiveness as my husband cleans up my mess.

Since I had far too much time to think, I began to make some parallels about tools and life. Personal experiences, skills, abilities and emotional capacity are the tools. They help us complete tasks like taking a risk, overcoming a new or difficult situation. At times, we may find that we don’t have the right tools in our personal tool kit.

I think it is wise to take inventory of the tools we have in our toolkit and try our best to use them to the fullest, but I also think it is important to ask for help from others early on. Trust me, I tried my hardest to get that screw into the hole with a hammer and it just doesn't work!