Susan Schneider’s Blog

The Path of Least Resistance

More often than I would like to admit, the path of least resistance is my trail of choice. Given the alternative of taking the long and winding road filled with stops and starts, delays in waiting on others, and taking the time to get input from others, the straight and narrow path brings the necessary task to completion quickly. It gives the illusion that it will make my life easier. But, as history has proven, just as I am enjoying my fast-paced walk down the simple path, I find myself at an impasse. My desire to create efficiencies through speed, limited engagement with others, and turning a blind eye to the details, only results in having to start my trek all over again.

I don’t think I am alone in choosing this path and in some cases, it works out in my favor. Yet, the decision to be efficient is less often driven by the simplicity of the task and more often from my emotional state. When tasks become overwhelming and we find ourselves overbooked, it is easy to say “the heck with it” and just get it off our list and move on to the next item. In the process we sacrifice communicating with others, getting necessary feedback, asking the right questions, and my favorite… assuming others will be fine with our decisions.

So, how do we avoid this often dead-end trail? For me, it requires taking an assessment of the task up front. This includes asking some critical questions: Is the deadline negotiable? Do I have the resources I need to complete the project? Have I considered various solutions? Can I reasonably set aside the necessary time to do the project well?

It would be great if there were a GPS for life that would guide us in the right direction without much thought. Until they make an “app for that,” I will just have to rely on my old fashioned mode of reminding myself to slow down.

Thankful for the Little Things

The nice thing about Thanksgiving is that it forces us to pause and give thanks for all that we have in life; our families, our friends, and our freedom. I think it is also good to give thanks for the little things that make our lives enjoyable, so I made a small list of my favorites:

• The iPad. It allows me to productively waste time when I have nothing better to do, and all the while I look really professional.
• TiVo. Besides catching my favorite shows when I want to, I can watch them in half the time. Plus, I avoid sitting through dreadful commercials.
• Google. Type in a few words and next thing you know, I am really smart.
• Laugh Machine. This little button on my desk sure comes in handy when I have to pretend to find someone’s joke funny.
• Texting. Anything that forces people to get to the point in 160 characters or less is always a great thing.
• Daylight Savings. Twice a year, I have a good excuse to be late to everything.
• iTunes. Buying just the one song that I like; the “B” side was usually pretty weak.
• Photoshop. It’s a bit challenging to keep lying about my age. This allows me to wipe away the crow’s feet in one click.

At this time next year, I'm sure I will have a new list of favorites that I am thankful for and I am already hopeful it will include:

• TSA finally realizing that no one is going to blow up a plane with a 5-ounce bottle of shampoo.
• Reply All and Voicemail being things of the past.
• Angry Birds adding new levels regularly. Nothing worse than spending time trying to beat your old scores.
• Laptop Keyboards that are waterproof (and coffeeproof). This is actually my IT group’s wish, but thought I would add.
• Ghost Writers for Wednesdays with Susan when I have a severe case of writer’s block – this is a joke!

It is hard to believe that this is my fifth year writing about Thanksgiving in my blog. I would be remiss if I didn’t close by letting you know how thankful I am for all of my loyal readers. Without you, I know I wouldn’t be able to put pen to paper each week.

Value isn't Defined by a Moment

One of the most difficult areas of being a parent for me is disciplining my kids. I long for the day when we can take a car ride without one of them almost losing a limb as they fight for the front seat or where touching each other by accident isn’t the end of the world. These are minor infractions, but sometimes their errors have greater consequences. It is in these times that balancing the importance of correcting their behavior and showing love and compassion can get challenging. Luckily, parents value their children through both good and bad times, hence the term “unconditional love.”

So, why is it that as we grow older our perceived value becomes more and more conditional? Perhaps it is that old saying, which I am particularly not fond of, “you are only as good as your last mistake.” This saying creates a fear in people of being judged in the moment. For some reason, we believe our value to others is fickle and inconsistent; that for each mistake we make we have to press the restart button on building our value. It is no wonder that people have a fear of taking a risk without a guaranteed positive outcome, especially if it means having others think poorly of them.

Is it the responsibility of others to continually remind us of our value when we are being corrected? In the case of the parent/child relationship, I believe it is. But, what about other relationships: with your spouse, manager, or even your clients? Is it their responsibility to regularly remind you of your value? My opinion is... yes and no. Yes, I believe it is important for people to let you know that they value you. And no, as I also think it is important for us to find confidence in our own value. We have to believe in our own value, even when we make mistakes. Often when others have accepted our mistake and moved on, we are the ones who continue to rehash the situation.

I believe it is important for all of us to remember that we are definitely more valuable than our last mistake. The difficulty will be to remind ourselves of this the next time we mess up. How would you tackle this challenge?

If Every Job Paid Two Dollars

What would you be doing? Essentially, the question I am asking is if money was no object, and every job paid the same salary, how would you spend your days? Maybe the answer came quickly for you and you have visions of teeing off next to Phil Mickelson, or shouting “BAM” next to Emeril. Maybe you would spend your days fighting for the needs of those less fortunate. For some, the answer to this question will roll right off the tongue. For many others, the answer requires some honest introspection.

One of the reasons that I love this question is that it gives insight into what truly drives an individual to wake up every day and feel like they are not just going through the motions. It helps people find out what allows them to live each day to its fullest. The answer is often the key into what people instinctively feel is their purpose in life.

Personally, I am not sure that twenty years ago I would have been able to answer this question with conviction. Today, I can say unequivocally that I would be a writer. Unfortunately, no one has come knocking at my door with some hefty advance to write the next big novel and I do have a mortgage payment to make. Rather than dismissing my passion, I found a way to incorporate my love for writing into my daily life… hence, "Wednesdays with Susan."

I think one of the most important things we can do on our life journey is to help ourselves and others find the answer to this question. Does it mean they can quit their job and head out to the links or spend their days mixing it up in the kitchen? Most likely not, but it can help with creating balance in our lives. If your passion is singing, have you joined a choir? If your passion is helping children, are you finding time to volunteer in your community?

Like me, you may not be able to abandon your career or your paycheck. That doesn’t mean you should abandon your passion. There are more opportunities for fulfillment than most of us believe and I would love to hear from any of you who have found your answer!

Barefoot in the Parking Lot

It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes I even surprise myself, and Sunday was one of those days. It was the first time that I walked out of church barefoot. My feet were cold and endured some minor pain as I quickly jaunted across the parking lot. It only took about thirty seconds for me to begin missing my favorite cowboy boots, which I had donated at the altar to be given to someone in greater need for a pair of shoes on their feet.

Perhaps it was divine intervention, as I am sure there are a number of people who were praying for me to put my worn out boots to rest. Nonetheless, they were my favorite shoes and it was hard to give them up. Reminds me a bit of real life. Sometimes we are encouraged to do things that are difficult. Even when we know it is the right thing to do, it doesn’t always make it any easier.

I believe that people, by nature, are caring and open to lending a helping hand. If you ask someone for a small favor, they will most likely help you out on the simple things like rescheduling a meeting, spotting them a few dollars for lunch or watching over your house while you are out of town.

It gets a little trickier on some of the bigger requests like giving up a weekend to help someone move, disrupting a well-planned event to meet the needs of someone else or letting someone else take the credit even though you deserve to be recognized. These requests might cause us to pause a moment before accepting and may have some residual emotions even when deep down you know you are doing the right thing.

My initial hesitation to giving up my cowboy boots surprised me a bit. If you had asked me if I would give them away, I would have said sure. But when I actually had to walk off without them, it wasn’t as easy as I had expected. This experience got me thinking about the things I own that I wouldn’t be willing to give up at any cost and what things I own that I should have let go of long ago. I guess this proves once again doing the right thing sure isn’t easy!